We all know that herpes is just a virus. This virus is not a death sentence of the social life. If you start to date again after getting this virus, you should avoid some common mistakes.
We interviewed 20 members from herpes dating sites and gathered the common mistakes during herpes dating. We appreciate their help and kindness very much. These can remind other members what not to do if you’d like to find a perfect relationship.
#1 NO. Cheating on the STD status.
Honesty is the key point of a relationship, no matter you have an STD or not. Don’t lie about your real STD situation to your potential partners. Let him/her know it before sex.
One member told us that she met a guy in the bar. After a drink, they both felt high and had sex later. But the man didn’t tell her that he has herpes. Unfortunately, she got the virus. Although she has accepted the truth now, she still hopes other STD people not to cheat on the STD situation.
Similarly, another member had sex with a guy met online. The guy refused to tell her his STD types. She was so scared and angry. They broke up finally.
If you really want to find a match successfully, tell your potential partner the real situation. Don’t let someone you are interested in worried and sad.
How to avoid: If you met someone and wanted to have further contact, tell him/her the real situation. Tell them what you have known about the virus and how deeply you loved him/her. If they can accept, then go to the next step. If they can’t, it just proves that they are not the right one for you.
#2 NO. Cheating on the marital status.
Normally, everyone has secrets on the deep heart. Most people can accept it. But for serious dating, marital status is essential.
Actually, most people living with herpes has been cheated on the STD status before. It’s impossible for them to accept someone who cheated them again. So no matter you are divorced or widowed, tell them honestly before starting a relationship.
#3 NO. Being abusive and rude.
Almost all the female members we have talked received dick photos and abusive messages, like: “Can I see your big b**bs?” “Can I lick your pu**y?” They are very angry about such kinds of messages. Of course, they had a bad emotion on these users and reported them.
Sex is ordinary and beautiful. Don’t rush into it by such way. Your abusive behavior won’t bring you any relationship or match.
#4 NO. Discriminating other people.
A virus is just a virus. You can’t judge a person by what they are living with. Having herpes doesn’t mean that people are immoral. Things are hard to say. Some people had 10 times sex without getting herpes while some people had one sex but got herpes.
Once your potential partner has an STD, calm down and listen to what he/she says firstly. Don’t let your emotion affect your decision.
#5 NO. Sharing bank account information.
We all knew that there are some liars and scammers on real life and online. We can’t know it from their covers. But we can keep our financial account safe. Don’t tell your potential partners your bank account number and password. Don’t send money to someone hastily.
Getting to know your potential match better. Do not mix it with financial things.
#6 NO. Having sex at the first meeting.
Most of our interviewers suggest not to have sex during the first meeting. You have chatted online several times. And now both of you are trying to make things real by face-to-face contact.
Observe that person’s behavior and what he/she said on the first meeting. If you are comfortable to be with him/her in real life, then you can arrange another date.
Don’t rush into sex firstly. It will make your potential match think that you are looking for sex only.
#7 NO. Sharing complete personal information at the first meeting.
At the first meeting, some people want to let others know that they are sincere and honest. They tell their daters real name, address (home and company), and so on.
Of course, honest is a good character. But when you don’t know more about your potential partner, it is not a bright idea to tell others your address.
One member from a small town told us that her ex (met online) once stalked her several months. It makes her horrible and terrible.
#8 NO. Allowing your partner to record videos of your sexual contact.
It’s natural to have sex when you both feel good. If your partner wants to record the sexual contact, say no directly. He/she may tell you that this is his/her hobby and want to remember the good memory.
But this videos or photos can’t also damage you. We don’t know if he/she is the right one. If you broke up, these records will become a weapon which will hurt you.
So don’t let your partner record sexual videos or photos.
#9 NO. Letting your partner control you.
Some people living with herpes became too cautious when they get into a relationship. They don’t want to lose their match and change themselves just to make their partner happy.
Don’t lose yourself. Don’t let your partner control you. You are unique and special. Herpes or other STD is not your guilty. Both of you come together because of love, not of unlimited tolerance from one side. It will make both of you unhappy.
#10 NO. Making your partner’s secrets public.
If your partner has STD virus, don’t tell it to your relatives or friends without his/her permission. It’s about respect and dignity. People won’t know how hard to tell others the STD status for an STD carrier. The truth may bring discrimination and prejudice.
Do not tell others once your partner told you the secret and you accepted unless your partner allows. Or it will damage your relationship.