We received a letter recently. It’s from a guy whose girlfriend has HSV-2. He fell in love with her deeply. When everything goes smoothly, she told him the secret.
He was shocked and confused. He said that they don’t have sex even they began the relationship. Earlier this month, he tried to invite her home after a romantic evening. But she refused and told him that it was too quick. Then one day later, she sent him a voice message that says “I want to tell you something. I knew it will be a little hard for you to accept. Actually, I passed a hard time to accept it. But no matter what decision you made, I understand and respect. I have herpes. I got it from my ex-boyfriend who lied to me. I don’t want to cheat you since I love you. Maybe you need time to think. It’s ok. Just give me your decision this month. ”
He told us that he admired and appreciated this girl very much. She is brave and lovely. But he doesn’t know how to handle it. Will herpes bring many troubles to their life? Can they have an ordinary sex life? Will herpes affect pregnancy? He doesn’t want to say goodbye to her from his deep heart. But he is still puzzled.
After getting his approval, we public the content by editing the expression and hiding their name. We’d like to share many useful tips when dating a girl with herpes.
Ⅰ. Get yourself tested for herpes.
If your girlfriend has HSV-2, you’d better know your condition. Herpes is a kind of virus. Getting tested is very essential because many people have it but don’t know it. Some people have this virus but no symptoms.
If you and your girlfriend have the same type of herpes, then you don’t have to worry about “infecting” because both of you are carriers.
If you have different strains of herpes, both of you can transmit that infection. For example, if you have HSV-1 while she has HSV-2, it’s possible to get infected with other strains of herpes.
A simple blood test can tell you whether you are a herpes carrier with specific strains of herpes. You can get this test at a Planned Parenthood center, other health clinics, or private health care providers.
Ⅱ. Get to know what strains of herpes she has.
Ask your girlfriend what type of herpes she has. Is it HSV-1 (mainly around the lips area) or HSV-2 (mainly around the genital area)?
Oral herpes can cause sores around your lips or mouth area. People always call them cold sores or fever blisters. People can also get sores in the mouth, but this usually happens only at the first few times of the symptoms.
The most common symptoms of genital herpes are itchy or painful blisters in the vagina, vulva, cervix, penis, buttocks, anus, or the inside of the thigh. The blisters break and become sores.
Ⅲ. Knowing two basic herpes information.
1. Herpes isn’t fatal.
It isn’t dangerous to adult people although uncomfortable. Genital herpes can cause complications in childbirth to pregnant mothers. In extremely rare cases, HSV-2 can lead to rectal inflammation, meningitis or bladder problems. HSV-2 increases your risk of contracting other STDs(sexually transmitted diseases.)
2. Herpes virus is life-long.
You need to accept the truth. There is no cure for herpes till now. However, antiviral drugs can control the viral infection effectively.
Ⅳ. Avoiding infection.
1. Avoid sexual contact before, during, and after an outbreak.
2. Don’t touch the herpes sores.
When your partner has an outbreak, do not touch her sores. The sore is the most infectious part of the outbreak, although the virus may also fall off from the skin that appears to be unaffected.
Once you touched a sore, wash with warm water and soap immediately.
Avoid sharing glasses, toothbrush, towels, and lipstick before, during and after the outbreak.
3. Protected sex.
Always wearing condoms for sexual activities. Condoms can prevent the transmission of the herpes virus. During an outbreak, avoid sexual contact since condoms can’t provide enough protection.
4. Taking medication.
Ask your partner if she will take a daily suppressive medicine to prevent herpes outbreaks. These medicines reduce the frequency of outbreaks and significantly reduce the risk of transmission.
Ⅴ. Taking it slow.
Don’t jump into physical intimacy if you’d like. Tell her that this is new to you and you need some time to consider the risk of infection. Don’t make too much physical contact on a date. When you get to know her, think about your choice.
Ask yourself if you are uncomfortable to have sex with someone with an STD, or if you are willing to take the risk of transmission.
Ask yourself how long you’d like to be with this girl.
If it’s only a short-term relationship, can you still accept the risk of transmission?
If you want a long and serious relationship, remind yourself that HSV-1 and HSV-2 are very common.